dog days {still + life}

The truth is, I'm still not feeling well. I certainly didn't expect to be suddenly, boom, better. But maybe marginally so? My blood work came back all negative, of course, which I totally expected. And of course that's great news but also endlessly frustrating. My friend Megan thinks it's still Lyme's, and since I'd have been bit by that pesky tick way back in November (Nantucket ticks are special apparently) of course I'd show up negative... Neel thinks something viral is going on, but virology is the foundation of his academic career, so he defaults to that. I actually agree, his hypothesis is most likely. What else could it be?

I'm still so tired and achy and chronically irritable, and even though the bulk of the weekend was spent sitting in a car, it took it out of me. I sound a little bitchy too, don't I? There's this whole no-complainy thing going around the internet these days. I think I need to jump on that.

Before I do, I want to say that what I feel saddest about is that I'm not feeling like good friends with my camera right now. I'm not feeling like picking it up or like things are drawing my eye or the things that I'm producing are any good at all. What's the line between complaining and just calling it like it is?

Still. I'm teaching an Introduction to Photography class right now (fun!) and a teen photography camp next week (terrifying!), so I'm B.U.S.Y. That feels good. Even if I have to lie down on the sofa every so often. The only way out is through, right? Bear with me, please, if I'm in and out around here. I haven't even shown you Olympia yet, much less Italy!

Overheard at the grocery store yesterday: "Well, one thing I'll say is that things are just not right when you're on that Xanax." He was on his phone, so I don't think he was talking to me. (wink)

check up

Well, the honest truth is that I haven't been feeling well lately. I never got my groove back after our trip, and to be completely truthful, this started before we even left. It's the migraines, of course, which have reared their ugly heads. I cycle in and out of that, and if you've known me for any length of time, you know summers can be hard on this head of mine. But there's more this time. Fatigue that's hard to shake. Crazy fatigue. Hard to get out the door fatigue. Hard to do much more than one thing a day fatigue. Some days I pick laundry. One load. Some days I pick the grocery store. Some days I pick nothing. Those aren't great days. Add to that some an unusual pain in my hip and some muscle fatigue (gah, more fatigue). I feel like every day I'm navigating a pain and lethargy cycle. It's annoying and confusing and things feel like they're falling apart a little bit around here.

I told the doctor that I'v diagnosed myself with Chronic Irritability Syndrome. He's on it. Five vials of blood, and we'll get to the bottom of it, I'm sure. Actually, I can tell you just what the blood work will reveal: nothing. I'm actually quite healthy! I'll just start feeling better. Until then? Chronic Irritability Syndrome.

And yet everywhere I look around me, there's abundance. My family? Well, they take care of me every day. No complaints. Just concern. Our neighbor Autumn brought us squash and cucumber and Swiss chard from her garden. And from his garden, our contractor John brought us a zucchini the size of a newborn baby. It's my dad's birthday (Happy, happy day, Alfie!) My friend Jackie had a thrilling project come up this session, and she asked me to teach her class on Intro to Digital Photography. It's her favorite class to teach, and it's the first class I took. As you can imagine, I'm excited. But I'm touched and honored too. Beyond it really.

So when I take the long view, things are good. There's abundance all around me. All that other stuff will take care of itself. Patience, grasshopper. The only way out is through.

Pan Fried Zucchini, thanks to John, our contractor

1 zucchini
2 eggs beaten
1 package seasoned fish fry breading, like Hilltop or McCormick's or make your own.
Salt and Pepper
Oil for frying

Slice the zucchini into rounds (or if it's ginormous, half-rounds). Dredge each slice in the egg wash and then the batter and set on a platter, careful not to stack the slices.

Once you've dredged all the zucchini, pour enough oil into the bottom of a fry pan to coat the bottom, and heat on medium high.

Once the oil is sizzling, add the slices of zucchini, careful not to crowd them. You'll probably have to do this in batches.

When the zucchini is brown on one side flip each slice and brown the other side. (The zucchini should be easy to lift from the pan when it's time to flip.) Repeat with the remaining zucchini, draining on paper towels.

Serve with salt and pepper (and hot sauce if your name is Cal.).