2. I am grateful for my family.
3. I am grateful for my friends, longtime and new, far away and near.
4. I am grateful for my camera.
5. I am grateful for yesterday. I am grateful for today. I am grateful for these days.
I have been filled with blessings this year, my friends. I hope that you have been too.
I'm sure there's more. I know there is. I just can't think of it right now. As if this isn't enough to finish by first thing Wednesday morning. Dear friends, I'm signing off for the week. Check back in for Five Things, the Gratitude Edition on Friday, and unless something goes terribly amiss, the new and improved still + life will launch next Monday! I can't wait to show it to you.
1. I think it's time that you, dear readers have the floor. I've been reading lots of blogs as I work to revamp SPL, and one thing I'm going to add is an "About Me" page. I've heard that some of you are, ahem, afraid to comment here, but now's your chance to pull out all the stops. I can't lay claim to need for a "Frequently Asked Questions" section, but I sure can answer some random questions, if only you'll lay them on me. What do you want to know? What kind of camera I use? What kind of camera I want? What do I like to take photos of? What kind of dogs we have? What my favorite color is? How Neel and I met? Leave your questions in the comments, and see if the answers pop up in the new blog!
2. I think I'm very excited to take some pictures of some beautiful jewelry this weekend.
3. I think I need to get crack-a-lackin' on my Christmas shopping.
4. I think that I'm very excited about Thanksgiving this year. Something new for us!
5. I think these are some of the things I'm grateful for this week:
a. that when a door closed a tiny window opened
b. that little Violet seems to be managing her new condition (no seizures yesterday, and she was giddy with delight that so many people asked after her!)
c. one-dish dinners!
d. my mom and my aunt hooking me up with a hotel room!
e. all my dear, dear friends who have taken the time to offer me such sweet words of encouragement the last few days, both here and in person and on the phone. I've been going at it hard, both at work and on the blog re-design, so I haven't had the time I wanted to respond to all of your comments. Each and every one of them has meant the world to me. More than I can say.
I just love this fortune that Neel got in his cookie Friday night! How wonderful is that?
Unfortunately, on Saturday, that fortune felt like it was meant for me. Last week I came across an opportunity to take a photography workshop with two women whose work I very much admire. It was a dream-come-true kind of thing, really.
But a lot of money. Especially to spend on something that doesn't generate any real income for our family.
Neel was incredibly supportive, and I had friends and other family who were too. Everyone I told about the workshop said that it was a chance I should reach for with both hands. I could feel myself getting excited, but I wanted to sit with the idea for just a bit. While an incredible deal and an incredible, indescribable opportunity, for our family, it was still a lot of money. I needed to think about it.
On Saturday afternoon, I got word that the workshop sold out. In 36 hours. It was a bitter blow.
I was devastated. She who hesitates is lost.
In some ways, I don't have regrets. I am not a professional photographer, so I can't regret taking some time to think about spending money like that on myself. We are not in a position to shell some major coin on a whim. But I had the support of my husband, both emotional and financial. I had the support of family and friends and the knowledge that I could earn the money for the workshop. The devastating truth is that part of my hesitation, while it had its roots in dollars and cents, was also born of doubt of my own self worth here. Do I deserve to go? Am I good enough to go? So yeah, the biggest part of my hesitation was fear.
I am so not happy about that. I'm not happy about a lot of things right now, but I know that I never want to be in this place again. I never want to miss an opportunity like this because I think I'm not good enough or I don't deserve it. Because I'm afraid to take the leap.
Other chances will come along (although Neel, to his chagrin has learned that that is not what I want to hear just yet!), and we've talked about how important it's become to me to hone this craft of mine. Not just here, but to travel and to mingle with new people and to be out in the world on my own. Next time, I can only hope that when the chance comes along, my arms and heart are open wide to grab it.
In the meantime, there are some exciting changes behind the scenes here at still+life. I'm busy. For the rest of the week, I'll just be posting a photo a day, but my hope is to have us up and running again near Thanksgiving. Either before or after. Depending on how things go. Changes are afoot! I'll be back for reals on Friday with my Five Things. Thanks for stopping by.
1. I think, as much as I loved Callum's play, I am SO GLAD to be done with our late night play practices.
2. I think I might be the only person in the world who likes the end of Daylight Savings!
3. I think I've learned a lot about myself in the last four weeks.
4. I think I'm sad that baseball is coming to an end. Double header tomorrow!
5. I think these are the five things I'm feeling grateful for this week:
a. Really feeling part of my city and taking part of the political process.
b. A lovely talk on the phone with my mom and a lovely visit with my dad.
c. That our sweet pup Violet seems to be doing okay after her scary seizure.
d. All of my new Blogging Your Way friends. I look forward to staying in
touch!
e. Each and every one of you who takes the time to stop by this space. Whether
you comment or not, and I do love your comments, just knowing that you
come by means the world to me.
Bittersweet day. Bitter because it's ending. Sweet because our time together has been so, so good.
As someone who writes everyday of her life, both personally and professionally, I'm actually struggling to find the words to express what a meaningful, nearly life-changing experience this class has been for me. A perfect mix of the technical and philosophical aspects of blogging, the class offered lessons from tapping into social media to finding your niche to tips for taking better photographs for blog posts. Each lesson was thoughtfully prepared and stunningly presented. (It should be no surprise that Holly Becker and Leslie Shewring have some good taste, people.) I learned so much! I was so busy learning that I haven't had time to start implementing! Not much at least. You may have seen some changes to the photos, maybe. But boy, have I been doing a lot of thinking. Leslie and Holly ask such wonderful thought-provoking questions about why we blog and more. I've learned a ton about blogging but a ton about myself in the process as well.
I have always been a somewhat private trespasser in the internets. Yeah, I have a blog, but I rarely comment on other blogs. (Not very nice, I know.) I lurked. I, oddly, figured that no one really wanted to hear what I had to say. Somewhat ironic, yes? A wonderful, wonderful bonus of this class has been the amazing other bloggers I've discovered along the way. Meeting them through their blogs. Commenting there and having them visit here has meant the world to me. There are some pretty amazing people writing and sharing out there...I'll start sharing some of these finds with you next week.
I expected to be inspired, and I was. I expected to learn some great tricks to assist in my blogging, and I did. I expected to maybe feel my way along this path a bit better, and I have. I did not expect to so completely fall back in love with my blog the way I did. I did not expect to open my heart to this genre and own my love of this blog the way I have. Blogging Your Way was so much more than a class. It was an incredible gift. My heart is full.
What I'll talk about instead is how compelling and gratifying it was to be so much more engaged in the process than we ever have been before. I think voting is both a duty and a privilege, but this time we did more. We showed up at events. We volunteered our time, we were way more "out there" in our beliefs than we ever had been. We wanted Callum to see how important it was to participate in the process. He loved it.
I spent most of the day yesterday at the polls. Saw a lot of neighbors and friends come to cast their vote. Thank goodness it didn't rain! The other guy was there too. Not just his staff, but the candidate himself. I have to admire that, even though I cringed at some of his tactics. (Our guy showed up too, but not until after my shift, of course!)
When we were invited to the Victory Party, we told Callum that if he finished his homework we'd go. My good kid worked hard at school yesterday. When he finished a quiz, he pulled out his social studies to work on. When he finished some make-up work, he grabbed his English to finish up. Two chapters of And Then There Were None when we got home, off to the polls to vote with Neel, and then we headed to the party!
The room slowly filled up.
Close to nine, a local delegate and our sheriff got up to speak. The room felt alive with excitement and anticipation as everyone gathered around the speakers. Precinct by precinct the news coming in seemed good. Suddenly we could hear some cheers from a back room, and Senator Northam's campaign manager darted in, giving the local delegate with the microphone a thumbs up, saying, "It's done!"
His thank yous were particularly moving, I felt, and at the end he said the thing I found to be the most compelling. He said that when he decided to run for re-election, he told his team and the consultants that he would only run a positive campaign. When told it would be risky, he said he didn't care. And he did. His campaign was aboveboard and positive and never once dipped into the mud. With a pretty near landslide win, Senator Northam proves that it can be done. He wants his campaign to be a model for other campaigns, and I for one, hope others from every party take note.
Well done, Senator. I'm proud to have you working for us for the next four years.
2. I think it's been a crazy hectic week, but we survived it. Bonus for Callum: Alfie surprised him by coming up a day early.
3. I think I'm really looking forward to seeing Callum in his school play tonight and on the ballfield (56 degrees for the high and windy...yikes!) tomorrow. Two sides of the same coin.
4. I think I have a lot of changes to make in two short months.
5. I think, as we enter the month of gratitude, that I have a lot to be grateful for. Like Kate! Spade! Wedges!
Best part of all of these is that they're FREE. I think one has to be careful not to go crazy with these things, and I have seen the preset fun overdone, but seriously, folks, I could have downloaded presets all day. I'm feeling pretty sure they'll pop up on my photos every so often.
Yesterday afternoon was a nightmare. I'm fighting a little cold, and I had a mini-freakout over my debit card (everything is fine). It took forever to get off campus after school. F O R E V E R. Callum needed a hair cut, and by the time we finally got home it was already five o'clock. I felt frazzled. We never got a pumpkin. It's been a weird fall.
Somewhere during all the driving in miserable, stuffy-nosed traffic I did yesterday, I had the thought that it would be nice to do the neighborhood walk with Callum and Neel this time. Could I do that? I don't feel great; could I leave the block behind and head out with my men? I decided to think about it, and before I could say anything to anyone Neel came home and said, "You should go out with us this year."
I'm so glad I did.
Trick-or-Treating, this year? A good walk: not ruined. The rain held of until just as we got home. And he gave me the Whoppers.
1. I think I still love it that Neel's laugh is the first contact I ever had with him. He makes me laugh every day.
2. I think that despite the fact that I need a picture of me (that makes me look stunningly beautiful and thin) for the blog and we need some family photos, I'd really like to have some more photos of just the two of us. I'm looking at you, Dafna.
3. I think it's very interesting that Neel got to pick where we're eating for our anniversary AGAIN. (See #1d.)
4. I think I feel very grateful for a marriage that can survive the times when raising our child or caring for our home or any of the other myriad of things that get in the way of really tending to it.
5. I think October 28, 1995 was one of the best days of my life, seconded only by Callum's birth (duh) and the day I first heard that laugh. I carry your heart in my heart. We'll be spending the evening at the ballpark. Chicken and waffles for dinner. Maybe there will be champagne.
If you have any interest in shopping local, this is an awesome and easy way to do it. It's half and hour door to door for me to get there, and the distance is nothing when such a warm welcome is waiting. I'd go every day if I could.
On my last stop in I took photos of all the gals...look for those shots on the blog next week!
He never came out and said point-blank that he didn't want to do it, but all the signs were there. Silence when I brought it up. Lack of unbridled enthusiasm.
I kinda made him anyway.
When we broke it down, he had two specific fears: that he'd be the only 6th grade boy, and that it would be hard to manage the homework on practice days. "Oh, come on!" I reassured him. You can see where this is going. He was right on both counts.
It's such a tricky thing as your children get older, to know when it's right to push and when to give way. So many times in his young life, he wouldn't be doing something if Neel and I hadn't been behind him, giving him a nudge (walking comes to mind). Since starting, he hasn't complained much at all (for our boy, that's pretty good!), but I can tell his heart isn't in it. It's his last chance to take part in the program, and I so wanted it to work out.
But I have to remember that it's not about my own desires for him, but more about what he really needs. I don't regret it necessarily, but I've learned a lesson here. Pay better attention. Listen more.
