toast

IMG_4165 Well we're managing to get our feet under ourselves. It's hectic and crazy and all new... Everything that was old is new again. Everything that was familiar to all of us has been replaced. Shirts to be tucked in, belts to be buckled. Rushing out the door, still trying to learn the commute. When should we leave? When should I merge? How long will I sit in this traffic? When is first bell?

Callum's feet are as light as his backpack is heavy. I can't get over how brave he is to do this. We've made it as easy as possible (he knows his teacher, his best friend is in his class), but still! Everything is different. But good. He's frank about his fears, but he's so happy too. Energized by the challenge. Every night a new worry comes home. I know I've told this story about my grandad before, how he'd say, "You may tell me not to worry, but I am worried." Well, duh. Of course you are. There's little we can say that alleviates these fears.

"Will my teacher understand that I didn't understand?"
"Was I supposed to bring that paper back today or tomorrow?"
"What if I don't pass the fitness test?"

We can tell him it'll be okay. Tell him not to worry, but the only way to get past the worry and the fear is to go right through it. He's doing it. Every day, he's doing it. That's what I'm proudest of. And he loves the food.

It's only Wednesday, but it's my first day working from home in all this. That takes adjustment too. I crammed all the doctor's appointments I'd been putting off into those first two days. (Migraine meds refilled: check. Diagnosis of plantars faciatias: check.) Today, I didn't have to rush anywhere. Just home to work.

So when I got here, I made some toast.