It's been such a funny disjointed winter. Had you heard that thing about New Year's Eve, where whatever you're doing at midnight is the "theme" for your year? Have I talked about this yet? Seriously, I can't remember. So, I thought we'd be in for big excitement this year based on our New Year's Eve. Fireworks! Dancing!

Hmmm. I got it wrong. I think the theme for this year was hunker down. For this winter, at least. We've definitely gone into survival/hibernation mode around here. And then that snow. Things have been disjointed and weird. My classes are keeping me busy, but even they've been on the skids a bit with lots of canceled sessions and make-up days.

I'm also taking a class. Embrace the Grain, with film photog extraordinaire Joyce Kang. It's been exciting and fun and hard. I've gained some empathy for my own intro students as I struggle with understanding. My first scans should be arriving at the lab today (black and white, YIPES!), so maybe (maybe) I'll share some here. That was a big push out of my comfort zone, but you know what? I'm getting ready to load another roll of B&W in the camera today.

But the weather is warmer. Capricious March. (one of Cal's vocab words this week. "Capricious." Not "March.") Baseball practice started last week and games start this week. I love the frenetic pace of it all. But it takes getting used to, no lie. The laundry change alone takes getting used to! Practice pants, uniform pants (why are they ALWAYS white!). Crock pot dinners, altered car pool schedules. Everything has shifted. Time speeds up in the spring.

And blogging. I'm not even sure how to blog anymore. Monday, Wednesday, Friday? Tuesday, Thursday? Never?! I'd love to recapture the structure of this space, but my weeks have felt more reactive than anything. I don't like that. And yet the rhythm of blogging grounds me and keeps me feeling connected to the me-ness of the crazy days and weeks ahead. And you! It keeps me connected to all of you. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I'm here today. And I'll be here Thursday. And Friday is another installment of One Kid, One Roll, Once A Month. I'm loving that project!

What are you loving these days? Life as it speeds past?

My baby (!) turned 15 this weekend. Can. Not. Believe. The Phillies were playing in DC (a short 3 hour drive from us, as opposed to the 5ish it takes to get to a game in Philadelphia), so we spend his birthday at his happy place: the ball park. We try as much as we can to give experiences more than things, (although, let's face it, I like things too) and while this post is not meant to be a lecture about consumerism and whatnot (and trust me, we consumed plenty in this experience), I can't say enough how wonderful it was to roll out of bed early with no other intent than to spend the day with the goal of pure enjoyment and being together as a family.

That was good. On the drive up, Cal was asking us about his birth and our reactions to his arrival. It's been a long time since we've recounted that story (Don't worry, I won't do it here.), and even now after all these years, the thing that stands out to me is the way he turned his head to look at me as if to say, "Oh yeah. There you are." Fifteen years later, coming out of school, crossing the street, standing rows apart at the ball park, countless other times throughout the days and years, I can still see that look on his face.

"Oh yeah. There you are."

My dearest son. Where would I be without you?

spring creeps in

weekend lookback, fifteenth birthday edition