slow down

Wow. That week went fast, didn't it? I'm not sure what I have to show for it. Finished up my classes. Sat through some chilly baseball games (including a double header that featured SNOW showers. seriously). Fretted over my health.

After my last class on Thursday, I headed to the doctor for treatment for what is, I think, my 4th or 5th sinus infection in the last year. When I woke up on Saturday even more congested than ever (and with Neel stuffed up too), we decided that we needed to dig deeper (before seasonal allergies kick in any day now. We've made some changes in the house and have had some repairs done this past week. All-new bedding is here and an air purifier is on the list. I'm, quite frankly, tired of living like that. I think my family might be tired of me too.

One bright light is the on-line film class I'm currently taking. I'm in hip-deep and totally overwhelmed, but loving immersing myself in something that brings me so much joy... even during the frustrating times. These photos here today are from my first black and white shots ever (not counting when I was 14!), and despite the fact that I thought I'd done them all wrong, I have to say, I'm pretty pleased! I don't see in black and white necessarily, so simply doing this work was a real leap for me. I was rewarded more than I'd anticipated, and I'll definitely try more.

It's spring and fresh winds are blowing. Perhaps no other season ushers in that feeling of change like spring. I feel at a crossroads here at SPL and I truly do not know where the path will lead me. I don't know if I'm ready to leave this space, and I do feel like I have more to say, but I wonder, is my heart really here anymore? Is it time for something different and new? I'm not interested in fading away, so I think I'll give myself some structured time to think about it. For the rest of the month, I'll be here Tuesdays and Thursdays, talking a little about film and a little about life. If I still haven't figured it out, much like the Iran Nuclear Deal, we'll go past the deadline (wink) until I do decide what's in store for me.

Thanks for hanging in, my friends.

All of these images were shot on Kodak 400 T-Max. My only editing was to the shot of Neel holding the rake to increase the contrast a bit, and I've already learned how to handle that situation next time.

spring creeps in

It's been such a funny disjointed winter. Had you heard that thing about New Year's Eve, where whatever you're doing at midnight is the "theme" for your year? Have I talked about this yet? Seriously, I can't remember. So, I thought we'd be in for big excitement this year based on our New Year's Eve. Fireworks! Dancing!

Hmmm. I got it wrong. I think the theme for this year was hunker down. For this winter, at least. We've definitely gone into survival/hibernation mode around here. And then that snow. Things have been disjointed and weird. My classes are keeping me busy, but even they've been on the skids a bit with lots of canceled sessions and make-up days.

I'm also taking a class. Embrace the Grain, with film photog extraordinaire Joyce Kang. It's been exciting and fun and hard. I've gained some empathy for my own intro students as I struggle with understanding. My first scans should be arriving at the lab today (black and white, YIPES!), so maybe (maybe) I'll share some here. That was a big push out of my comfort zone, but you know what? I'm getting ready to load another roll of B&W in the camera today.

But the weather is warmer. Capricious March. (one of Cal's vocab words this week. "Capricious." Not "March.") Baseball practice started last week and games start this week. I love the frenetic pace of it all. But it takes getting used to, no lie. The laundry change alone takes getting used to! Practice pants, uniform pants (why are they ALWAYS white!). Crock pot dinners, altered car pool schedules. Everything has shifted. Time speeds up in the spring.

And blogging. I'm not even sure how to blog anymore. Monday, Wednesday, Friday? Tuesday, Thursday? Never?! I'd love to recapture the structure of this space, but my weeks have felt more reactive than anything. I don't like that. And yet the rhythm of blogging grounds me and keeps me feeling connected to the me-ness of the crazy days and weeks ahead. And you! It keeps me connected to all of you. I'll figure it out. In the meantime, I'm here today. And I'll be here Thursday. And Friday is another installment of One Kid, One Roll, Once A Month. I'm loving that project!

What are you loving these days? Life as it speeds past?